{"id":93401,"date":"2009-07-01T23:34:05","date_gmt":"2009-07-01T20:34:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.17047165566933.sritis.lt\/index.php\/2009\/07\/01\/anekdotai-106\/"},"modified":"2009-07-01T23:34:05","modified_gmt":"2009-07-01T20:34:05","slug":"anekdotai-106","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/2009\/07\/01\/anekdotai-106\/","title":{"rendered":"Anekdotai"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/em><\/p>\n

Ma\u017eas Nostradamiukas klausia mamos:
\n
\u2013 Mama, o kas \u0161iandien vakarienei?
\n
\u2013 O tai tu, atseit, ne\u017einai, \u2013 pykteli mama.<\/p>\n

***
\n
\u2013 J\u016bs labai blogai mokot\u0117s matematikos. Matau, kad apie a\u0161tuoniasde\u0161imt procent\u0173 j\u016bs\u0173 kontrolinio darbo ne\u012fveiks.
\n
\u2013 A\u0161tuoniasde\u0161imt procent\u0173?! \u2013 pasigirsta balsas i\u0161 klas\u0117s galo. \u2013 \u010cia m\u016bs\u0173 i\u0161 viso tiek n\u0117ra.<\/p>\n

***
\n
Parduotuv\u0117je vyrukas r\u0117kia prie kasos:
\n
\u2013 J\u016bs k\u0105 tik sak\u0117te, kad dar nemat\u0117te 150 lit\u0173 banknoto. Tai i\u0161 kur \u017einote, kad jis netikras?!<\/p>\n

***
\n
\u017dydr\u016bnas Savickas \u012f poliklinik\u0105 nune\u0161\u0117 stiklain\u0117l\u012f su \u201eskystim\u0117liu\u201c analiz\u0117ms. Po keli\u0173 dien\u0173 gauna i\u0161 gydytoj\u0173 atsakym\u0105: \u201eNepaj\u0117g\u0117me atidaryti\u201c.<\/p>\n

***
\n
Mano nervai visai pakriko. Kr\u016bp\u010dioju nuo kiekvieno atominio sprogimo.<\/p>\n

***
\n
U\u017era\u0161as prie vairuotojo vietos mar\u0161rutiniame taksi autobuse: \u201eGerbiami keleiviai, netrukdykite vairuotojui, melskit\u0117s tyliai\u201c.<\/p>\n

***
\n
\u2013 Dieve, padaryk, kad gyven\u010diau kaip pasakoje… Ei, palauk, ne toje pasakoje!!!<\/p>\n

***
\n
\u2013 Gal vakarien\u0119 jums atne\u0161ti \u012f kajut\u0119? \u2013 laive padav\u0117jas klausia j\u016bros liga susirgusio keleivio.
\n
\u2013 O kam vargti? Geriau i\u0161 karto verskite j\u0105 per bort\u0105!<\/p>\n

***
\n
I\u0161sibla\u0161k\u0119s profesorius operuoja drambl\u012f. Pasibaigus operacijai jis patenkintas sako:
\n
\u2013 Na, jau \u0161\u012f kart\u0105 pilve tikrai joki\u0173 instrument\u0173 neu\u017esiuvome… O gal kas mat\u0117te, kur dingo medicinos sesel\u0117?<\/p>\n

***
\n
Prieina vyrukas prie prabangios ma\u0161inos ir sako:
\n
\u2013 Klausyk, a\u0161 noriu padaryti \u012fsp\u016bd\u012f savo merginai. Gal gali pav\u0117\u017e\u0117ti mane por\u0105 kvartal\u0173? Ten man\u0119s laukia panel\u0117. A\u0161 i\u0161lipsiu, o tu paklausk: \u201eVir\u0161ininke, ar a\u0161 \u0161iandien jau laisvas?\u201c A\u0161 atsakysiu: \u201eLaisvas, gali va\u017eiuoti\u201c. Tada tu pasakysi: \u201eVir\u0161ininke, duok penkiasde\u0161imt lit\u0173 benzinui\u201c. A\u0161 tau sumok\u0117siu ir b\u016bsim atsiskait\u0119 u\u017e \u0161\u012f spektakl\u012f. Gerai?
\n
\u2013 Joki\u0173 problem\u0173, va\u017eiuojam, \u2013 sako vairuotojas.
\n
U\u017e poros kvartal\u0173 tikrai laukia panel\u0117. Ma\u0161ina sustoja, vyrukas i\u0161lipa, o vairuotojas ir klausia:
\n
\u2013 Vir\u0161ininke, ar a\u0161 \u0161iandien laisvas?
\n
\u2013 Laisvas, gali va\u017eiuoti, \u2013 i\u0161did\u017eiai pamoja ranka vaikinas.
\n
\u2013 Klausyk, vir\u0161ininke, duok t\u016bkstant\u012f lit\u0173. Variklis ka\u017eko \u010diaudi ir tepalus reikia keisti, tai, sakau, nuva\u017eiuosiu \u012f autoservis\u0105, jei jau \u0161iandien laiko turiu… \u2013 i\u0161si\u0161iepia iki aus\u0173 vairuotojas.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ma\u017eas Nostradamiukas klausia mamos: \u2013 Mama, o kas \u0161iandien vakarienei? \u2013 O tai tu, atseit, ne\u017einai, \u2013 pykteli mama. *** \u2013 J\u016bs labai blogai mokot\u0117s matematikos. Matau, kad apie a\u0161tuoniasde\u0161imt… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"NULL \/ NULL","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","pmpro-has-access"],"featured_image_urls":{"full":"","thumbnail":"","medium":"","medium_large":"","large":"","1536x1536":"","2048x2048":"","post-thumbnail":"","visualnews_post_thumb":"","woocommerce_thumbnail":"","woocommerce_single":"","woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":""},"author_info":{"info":["admin"]},"category_info":"Be kategorijos<\/a>","tag_info":"Be kategorijos","comment_count":"0","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=93401"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93401\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=93401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=93401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santaka.info\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=93401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}